Childhood Eating Disorders Blog

A recent New York Times Magazine cover story by Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni, I was a Baby Bulimic, has drawn attention to the topic of bulimia in boys.
In this excerpt from an upcoming memoir, Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-Time Eater, Bruni describes his long history of compulsive overeating, which began in childhood and in college developed into bulimia.
Although the article’s title is catchy, Bruni really wasn’t a “baby bulimic.” According to his mother (he was too young to remember) one day when he was 18 months old, Bruni had such a violent crying fit when mom said no to another hamburger that he threw up. Following this episode, whenever mom said no to seconds he would vomit. Bruni did this so often that mom carried wipes around to clean up the mess. Neither Bruni nor his mom knows why the behavior stopped within the year. This is not bulimia, but an atypical way to get attention from a parent.
After years of worrying about his weight and dieting, however, Bruni did in college develop what sounds like a classic case of bulimia. The risk factors in his case were typical: He was a chubby kid, he was teased by schoolmates about his weight, and his mom was a chronic dieter who was perpetually attempting the latest fad diet.
Bruni finally stopped purging after college friends confronted him. As he describes this pivotal incident, he had just rejoined the group after slipping away to the restroom to purge the whole tuna sub he had consumed. The knowledge that he wasn’t “succeeding in keeping my throwing up a secret,” coupled with the information he had looked up on bulimia were what finally gave him the strength to stop.
He admits that he was “spooked” by information on the effects “this bulimia thing could have on your skin (bad), hair (worse), gums (eek!) and fingernails (nasty).” Bruni adds one important point: his purges didn’t stop immediately, but gradually, over time.
The take-home messages from this article are: 1. Fad dieting, or dieting of any sort, is never advisable. Studies show that the few pounds people lose on diets tend to come back, often with extra pounds. 2. Never encourage your child to diet. 3. If you are a parent of a child who vomits easily, be very watchful. Such children can be at higher risk for bulimia as they become teenagers. 4. Confronting a friend about your suspicions and concerns about-eating disordered behaviors can make an important difference. 5. Don’t expect to stop cold-turkey. Overcoming bulimia is hard to do, and there will be setbacks along the way.

Marcia and Nancy

Dear Readers,

                We hope you’re having a great summer! Some good news: Jenni Schaefer, who chronicled her winning battle against anorexia and bulimia in Life Without Ed,  has a new book coming out in September, Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover From Your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life.

                In her 2003 Life Without Ed, Jenni popularized the concept of naming and personifying her eating disorder (in her case, calling it “Ed” for short) and even wrote a song about her struggle, also called “Life Without Ed.” Jenni, it turns out is multitalented; in addition to writing, she’s a Nashville singer/songwriter.

                Marcia and I have written a lot about the importance of separating yourself from your disorder (or parents helping their child do so) in order to gain the upper hand over it. Jenni took this idea many steps further and made her “Ed” into nearly a living, breathing, bullying partner whose grip she struggled to shake off.

                In her new book Jenni declares, “I’m now divorced from Ed (and married to myself). “ She is more interested in how to live life post-Ed. There are chapters on everything from how to begin treating yourself well instead of feeling you are not worthy of good things (“Jenni Deserves a Kitchen Table”), how recovery taught Jenni to recognize and accept feelings of loneliness and sadness (“The Sadness Cloud”) and some spot-on advice from the still-recovering, first-class perfectionist on learning to let go and have fun (“Having Fun to Save My Life”). Interspersed throughout the book are “Real Action” exercises you can do, such as keeping a “worry journal” to calculate the time you waste needlessly obsessing, or writing down then eliminating the eating-disordered behaviors that you are still holding on to (Jenni’s was being a closet diet soda drinker).

                This is the book to read if you are feeling down and hopeless over an eating disorder. It’s hard to dip into it and not come away feeling that, with the right attitude and a lot of gumption, you too can overcome even the most difficult disorder.

                One thing Jenni is adamant about is that she is recovered, period. Even a difficult, last-minute broken engagement (the dress had been purchased, the invitations stamped and ready to mail) did not send her running back into Ed’s arms. When I asked her about this, Jenni responded, “People don’t seem to have a problem with the sentence: recovery IS possible. What they have a problem with is someone (like myself) saying that I am recovered. Period. I had an eating disorder, and now I don’t.”

                She is frequently asked, “Are you saying that you never relapse?” “Are you saying that you are not afraid of relapsing in the future?” Says Jenni, “My answer is: ‘No, I never relapse. I won’t ever again. I am recovered. I had to find balance with food. Unlike alcohol and drugs, I couldn’t just put it on the shelf and never “drink” or “use” again. In a world where we need food to survive,

I had to fully recover from Ed.”

                Marcia and I totally agree; in the introduction to our book we wrote that we wanted to turn the myth that eating disorder sufferers are “perpetually in recovery” on its head, and demonstrate that with sustained effort from you, your loved ones and your doctor or treatment team, you CAN beat your eating disorder, once and for all. Marcia did, and Jenni did. Which means you can, too.  

                Jenni’s book comes out in September from McGraw Hill. For more on the book and Jenni, check out her website at http://www.jennischaefer.com .

Take care,

Nancy and Marcia